Monday, November 3, 2008

THIS JUST IN: SUPER SCOOP OF THE CENTURY


The Provocatively Evocative Staff bloggers and expert political analysts project a Barack Obama win on November 4th. Don't forget my fellow Americans that you must vote to uphold this prediction and make it a fact.


Go blue.





UPDATE: after reviewing our data sheets and imbd top 250 only to notice The Dark Knight is now in fourth position, we would like to confirm that Barack Obama will be elected on November 4th. There will however be polling problems in southern Florida as authorities will notice zombies raising from the dead controlled by some dark forces into voting Republican, causing mass hysteria and low voter turnout. However, African Americans will remain unphased and show up by the car loads to vote dem.

*UPDATE: One of our unpaid interns just noticed his calculator was in the wrong mode, making all of his previous calculations completely off, after recalculating, we would like to make the following corrections: Barack Obama will be elected on November 4th.

**UPDATE: Larry King just called one of our senior analysts to complain about how McCain doesn't want to appear on his program. Suck it up Larry, your show sucks. Please retire so we can laugh at someone like Glenn Beck in your place. We would like to apologize for the lack of relevance this update had, but we thought we should mention it anyways.

***UPDATE: Rush Limbaugh made the prediction earlier today that John McCain will stage a coup to take power by force, for a better, whiter America. To this one of our analysts had to say "what a load of crap". Indeed, Barack Obama will definitely be elected by the electorate this Tuesday.

****UPDATE!!!!!: We have received word that tomorrow the real Joe The Plumber will be making an appearance on The View, one of our favourite shows, here at PROVOEVO. One of our intern booked us plane tickets to be there for this historical interview, but he accidentally selected Lago, Nigeria instead of Los Angeles, California. We had no choice but to send 3 of our analysts on an expensive trip to Nigeria on a special assignment to study the current political climate of Nigeria and to review the new Femi Kuti album which I can tell you our intern Al just hated("Seun Kuti is totaly way better dude") . Looks like we'll have to watch the interview on TV instead.


*********UPDATE: John McCain was just revealed to have ties to an alleged Muslim. The McCain camp was quick to retaliate to the accusations stating "he was hindu", to which the american public will retaliate by voting Dem on November the 4th. (G)Obama!


****************UPDATE AGAIN WOW: The electronic polling system employed by the state of Nebraska has been hacked and voters will now only be able to vote for either Kermit the frog or Fez, from that 70s show. The hackers claim on their web site that they did it for the lulz. If you know anything about the location of this lulz, please contact Nebraskan authorities, Nebraska needs to vote for the right candidates!


*********UPDATEZ: We have for once more than one thing to update so we will only use this one update sign for both, if you have a problem with that please contact our new lawyer, Leonard J. Crabs after we fired our last one after he spontaneously combusted just as we were drafting this important legal document concerning Bono from U2. Authorities are suspecting foul play as U2 guitarist THE EDGE was spotted in the vincinity.


******UPDATE(FOR REALZ): Ok sorry I forgot to post the updates on that last update. I got carried away because of that legal battle with U2. We are working on arguments and legal pads to stop U2 from perpetrating more crimes with their terrible music. Anyways, we've picked up a few items worth noting on our hacked CCN news wire. First of all, it would appear FOX News has been sold to the Chinese Government. We are expecting content on FOX News to not change at all, fucking fascists. Bill O'Rilley has been rumoured to quit Fox News and replace Larry King on CNN. Glenn Beck is furious. Also, the word also is an anagram of the word Laos. All this to say that we are pretty sure, well, confident in our numbers, that, if this economical turmoil persists, Barack Obama will definately be elected as President of The United States of America and that the peoples will rejoice. Free Big Macs for everyone!!!!!!!!! yeayyyyayaya!!


*******UPDATES: Our hacked CNN newswire was busted thanks to one of our interns spilling coffee all over it. Now we're totally screwed, looks like we'll have to use these slow ass RSS feeds to stay informed. We did however find out that Prince will be hosting a benefit concert for those afflicted by the disease of being allergic to cats, to which 2 of my roommates will attend. One of our senior analysts here at PROVOEVO is rumoured to have attended one of these before, to which he had to say "Barack Obaaaamaaaaaa babeyyyy". This only confirms what we have been projecting all along: Barack Obama, Baby. We'll keep you posted if any more news come up.

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