Hi folks, and welcome to this edition of Provo-Evo Guides 2009.
Winters can be and feel long in Winnipeg. But if it weren't for the following tips, I'd probably be in Barbados, spending the winter with a bunch of Latina babes under the sun, drinking mojitos.
1) To stay sane in the cold months of Winter, adopt a new indoors hobby! Like perhaps knitting, or amateur archaeology. Think of all the long winter days you could spend in your basement, exploring every corner, looking for clues of a civilization long gone, only to realize in the end, that they were actually aliens.
2) Stay warm. I cannot stress this point enough. If your heat is not on, turn it on. If you're really broke and the electricity/gas bills are hurting your partying budget, try turning the heat down. I know this might sound crazy, but at least you'll be able to party like you usually do. You can always use that extra bear at the Toad Tuesday night as someone shouts "Last Call!".
3) Sleep. The summer burns all of us out, so take advantage of the cold and get under your blankets and don't come out! Try to shake off the winter blues by watching Season 1 of 30 Rock, over and over again. Tracy Morgan saved my life!
4) Eat less. In winter, you only want to go out if it involves girls and/or booze. So going grocery shopping becomes less appealing as a result. To help with this, simply ration yourself. You'll end up losing weight! Which is great, as summer is just around the corner, and you could loose a few pounds before you start hitting the beach!
5) Watch tons of sports online. How do I know Thomas Vanek of the Buffalo Sabers is the lead scorer of the NHL at press time? No, not because I read tsn.ca(which I actualy do), but rather because I watched the game where he scored 2 goals via nhl streams found at myp2pforum.eu! And it's totally legal, I think. And I don't even have a TV!
6) We all like imitating people, right? Take the time this winter to rehearse and even pick up new imitations, whether its an accent or a persona, just do it. You will make yourself laugh and maybe even your room mates. Ever since I've started doing my Martha Stuart imitation regularly, people have been wanting to hang out more with me. I wonder why!
7) Join a cult. If you are looking for winter spiritual guidance, check your local cult listings. Ever since I joined the Red Cross, people seem to respect me more.
8)Eat shit.
Seriously, EAT SHIT
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment